Skeptical of Microwave Corn? Don’t Give a Shuck

corn, microwave, vegetarian

Sheath. Corn. Just that easy

My business partner (for my manderpants company) tells me I’m the skeptical one. I’m the one that asks the questions. That brings up the potential for disastrous outcomes. That reads the Yelp reviews, all of them, before we book hotels – I mean, bed bugs are a real thing, people.That may be prone to thinking something just isn’t quite right. That maybe – just maybe – Googles too much – I’m a really good Googler.

So when the microwave corn video started showing up all over Facebook and in my other social media feeds – because I follow food stuff and stuff – I didn’t really believe it. I mean, people do lie on the Internet.

I thought I had mastered the most succulent and fabulous corn the old fashioned way…a best friend who is ‘corn-psychic’ and selects perfect cobs every time, lots of shucking, big pot of water, butter and whole milk (or cream, who cares?) in the boiling water…add corn, cover, turn off heat – wait 12 mins, eat.

But this is no longer the best way. Plus, if there’s one KP job I hate – it’s shucking. I said ‘shucking’…

So…the microwave corn with no shucking at all intrigued me.

Ingredients:

Corn IN the cob – 1, 2, 22 pieces, I don’t care – ps, it was on sale at Whole Foods this week, so, bonus!

Preheat the……wait, you don’t need to do that

Fill a large pot with water….nope, not that either

1. Open the microwave. Yeah. Do that.

2. Put an ear of corn or two or three, whatever, in the microwave – DO NOT GIVE A SHUCK

corn, microwave

I just made one to test – cuz I really didn’t believe it would work – ps, look how clean my microwave is. yep.

3. Microwave on high for 3 minutes, just 3

microwave, kitchenaid, corn

It’s very hard to photograph my microwave. but you get it

4. It’s very very hot – wear an oven mitt, please…AND – Remove from microwave and cut the base off – you need to cut about a 1/2 inch into the kernel part – it’s fine, you’ll have enough corn, promise, trust me, google it.

corn, microwave, whole foods

I had to cut twice as the first time I didm’t get enough of it – see two cuts…I was proceeding in doubt and with caution

5. Hold the icky hairy top part of the corn with an oven mitt and shake it like a Polaroid picture….this is sorta the hard part – you have to really shake to get it moving out of the sheath

corn, microwave

Hold and shake – fer reels. PS, my oven mitt reminds me of Muppet hands.

6. As the corn starts to come clean of the sheath, you can assist by pulling the perfect corn with a second oven mitt

corn, microwave, vegetables

AHHHHnd…it’s working! Shock and Awe.

7. et voila – perfect corn, no sheath, no hairy stuff and you don’t have to give a shuck

corn, vegetables

Seriously, perfect. Hardest part is the shake-ification

Test was so successful, that I zapped two more ears and made magical toasted corn.

Is the lesson have more faith in things you see/read on the Internet? Uh…don’t think so – but keep reading, investigating, googling, if you will…and ultimately, test it for yourself. Sometimes it’s best to be skeptical, sometimes it’s best to not give a shuck.

Bacon Makes It Better: Bacon-Y Bean Bundles

french green beans bacon evoo

Nestled and Oven Ready

Everyone’s family has different rules about what and how much a child must eat at any given meal. Some families go with praise cheering their kids who are members of the ‘clean your plate club’. Others threaten punishment if kids didn’t finish every morsel on their plates.

Salisbury steak

Salisbury Steak ’70’s Style

In our house, we just had to try what was served. I’m not saying that if we hated it that something else would be served. I’m just saying that even the most detestable of dishes had to be at least sampled. Once taste tested, we could decide whether to eat on or go hungry. There were a few key dishes in the dinner rotation at our house – your basic chicken, fancier chicken and dumplings, Salisbury steak, breakfast for dinner – all easy and kind to the pickiest of kids. But, for the most part, we were pretty easy to feed. OK my type-A brother had to change forks and plates between courses, cuz like one food can’t touch another – but that was probably the biggest challenge.

There was really only one staple in my mother’s dinner table rotation that killed us….Liver. Like pan fried liver ’70’s style. It was dry and sorta smelly and chewy and….Hated it.

So, charged with having ‘at least one bite’, my brothers and I had a strategy. Cut the tiniest of tiny pieces of the stuff, wrap it in 4-5 pieces of bacon, fill a large cup with water and swallow the bacon wrapped ickiness whole.

Since then I’ve known that I can eat almost anything if it’s wrapped in bacon. Bacon makes the worst things tolerable and the best things even better. I like green beans and have noticed that they tend to go unfinished when served alongside other sides like potatoes. One way to ensure that your beans are consumed is to wrap them in bacon.

Bacon-Y French Bean Bundles (Serves 6)

Ingredients:

  • green beans pricechopper

    Pre-Washed is the way to go

    1 bag of prewashed french beans – yes, you can use regular green beans, but I like the smaller more delicate taste of the French beans – they sell these bags everywhere now. Ours were from Price Chopper upstate.

  • 9-10 pieces of bacon cut in half
  • 2 TBSP extra virgin olive oil
  • 2 TSP of freshly grated parmesan cheese

You can also sub out the EVOO + Parmesan Cheese and use an Italian Parmesan Salad Dressing instead….

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

1. Wrap 5-6 beans in one half-slice of bacon and lay in a baking dish

green beans and bacon

Wrapped and Ready

2. Repeat until 2-3 bundles per person are created and the bundles are nestled in the pan

3. Sprinkle the bacon-y bean bundles with the olive oil and parmesan cheese

side dish bacon wrapped beans

Gently Sprinkled with EVOO and Parm

4. Bake for :45 mins to 1 hour – until beans are well roasted and bacon is fully cooked

french beans in bacon recipe

Beans & Bacon Well Crisped

5. Serve 2 – 3 bundles per person

That’s really it.

In my own apartment, I do subscribe to the ‘just try one bite’ philosophy. Doesn’t always work. But if I can eat ’70’s style pan fried liver, the toughest of taste buds can certainly give bundles of bacon-y beans a try.

Grocery Store Sins And A Frittata For Two

Breakfast Frittata for Two

Forgive me, follower(s), for I have sinned. I went to the grocery store today hungry. Very hungry. Like right out of the gym, no breakfast hungry. Always a bad idea.

What happens when I go to the store hungry, is that I get something in my head that I have to eat. Usually it’s something super fattening like a three-cheese grilled cheese sandwich with bacon and tomato smothered in butter and fried until crisp on the outside and oozy on the inside. Yum.

Images of flavorful, fattening foods fill my head. I think of entire meals that I want to prepare and snack through while I’m cooking. My stomach screams for carbs and sauces and cheese and salt.

As I entered Food Emporium, the voices took over and I knew there was no way to escape.  At first I wasn’t sure what the voices were saying…Then they got louder and louder…’Frittata…’, ‘Frittata’ they called to me.

I had to make one. Had to. And I googled hoping to find a healthy, smaller solution to the traditional dish.

But every frittata recipe I found called for like a million billion eggs and fatty meats like sausage and bacon and russet potatoes and heavy cheeses and a brunch party of 8.

There were not – as you might imagine – seven additional people coming to brunch at my apartment today. Nor did I want to max out my daily targeted caloric intake with meats and potatoes and fattiest of cheeses.  Thankfully, paring down is what I do and if I wanted a frittata, damnit! I was going to find a way!

Sweet and Petite Frittata with Sweet Potatoes and Broccoli (Serves 2)

1. Peel about 1.5 inches of a medium sized sweet potato and slice in half. Then CAREFULLY slice the halves very thin on a mandolin – or with a knife.

CAUTION: the mandolin is a tool of death. I lost the top of a finger last year – shaved it right off – had to throw out those yellow squash. So, Please! Use the gripper/hand protector thing and go much slower than you think you have to…

Tool of death mandolin

Tool of Death

2. Slice about 4 small florets of broccoli into bite size pieces

Thinly Sliced Sweet Potatoes and Chopped Broccoli

Veggies Prepped

3. In a non-stick, oven safe 10inch fry pan (I used my All-clad one), heat 1 tbsp of olive oil over medium to med/high heat. Add the vegetables and saute until softened – about 6-8 minutes

Sweet Potatoes and Broccoli

Veggie Saute

4. In a bowl, whisk together three eggs and 1/4 cup of milk. I used 2% – but, really whole milk would be more delicious…just sayin’

Krazy Mixed Up Salt

This stuff is the bomb

Add salt and pepper to taste – I used about a tsp of Jane’s Krazy Mixed Up Salt – because it has all the good stuff – like one stop spicing.

5. Once the vegetables are softened, pour the egg mixture over the vegetables

6. As the egg mixture starts to dry, gently push them in toward the center of the pan with a spatula  and allow the wetter mixture to flow out to the edges

Frittata for 2

Pulling edges in

7. Once the mixture looks dry – add 1/4 cup of Mozzarella Cheese – sliced or shredded. I didn’t feel like getting out my shredder, so I sliced pretty thin to ensure melty-ness.

Frittata For Two with Sweet Potatoes, Broccoli and Cheese

Add the cheese

8. Pop the pan into the oven and bake for 10 – 12 minutes until golden brown

Breakfast Frittata for Two

Frittata Post Oven with Melty Goodness

9. Allow to cool for about :05 mins, garnish with fresh, chopped parsley and then transfer to a plate, slice and serve

Breakfast Frittata for two

Final Frittata

The frittata is a very versatile dish. Really, you can put anything you want in it – within reason. And, you can make it for a large brunch, for just you or, of course, for two.

I got lucky today. When shopping hungry in the past, I’ve come home with bags of expensive food stuffs that were more than I could ever consume.

Today, I beat the hunger pangs and emerged from the grocery store with just two bags of pretty much essentials and a bill of only $25.  I escaped a potentially disastrous and calorie hazardous situation. And, enjoyed a delightful brunch to boot.