Some people starve their way through heartbreak…Others eat their way through.

I’ve been eating my way through the pain of knowing that Justin Timberlake will never be mine.

I have loved Justin Timberlake ever since he graduated from Disney and burst onto the boy-band-teen-idol-music scene with his frosted tipped curly hair. Fresh faced with instant allure and breathtaking adorability he was the 14-year old baby front boy in N’Sync. You couldn’t really put your finger on it, but you just knew he was going to be a big deal.

JT Dirty Popped Onto the Scene

I was among a select group of the world’s oldest N’Sync fans. It was a small club (or a secret society maybe) composed of gay men and pop music loving 30-something women. My college roommate was a member as well and we had several conversations debating which was the cuter band member – She liked JC…I always liked Justin.

I was a quasi grown up with a pretty demanding job at the time. She was a new mother. We had no business spending our time talking boy bands.

But we didn’t care.

I Should Be His Girlfriend

I boldly braved the ridicule of friends and professional colleagues when I announced proudly that I was going to see N’Sync’s ‘No Strings Attached’ show.

I even bought the DVD afterwards so that I could watch the show over and over and over again in the comfort of my own home.

When the ‘band’ broke up – I avoided separation anxiety because JT immediately released his solo album crying himself a river after his split from Britney.

What he really cried was a river of solo success.

• He brought sexy back…in a big way.
• He crafted one of the most watched SNL skits of all time.
• He became an actor and garnered kudos from Hollywood’s toughest critics for his role in The Social Network
• Oh, and he’s a scratch golfer.

His talent knows no end.

With each addition to his resume, my infatuation intensified. (In the OK way).

I did meet Justin once…Some of my colleagues might say that I accosted him. Whatever, we met.

I spotted him leaving the Governors’ Ball after the 2011 Academy Awards. I looked at one of my friends and said, ‘you know I have to..’ She nodded knowingly, with a little bit of ‘you’re pathetic’ in her eyes.

But he was getting away…I had to hurry. I jogged after him in my 5 inch heels, stopped right in front of him and introduced myself. He was gracious. We shook hands.

I        touched          Justin Timberlake

At that moment I understood how Marcia Brady felt when after receiving her first kiss from Desi Arnaz Jr, as she declared ‘I’ll never wash this cheek again.’ Obviously, I would have to wash…but right then I considered my options.

It’s Tearin’ Up My Heart

So, News of Justin and Jessica Biels’ nuptials are tearin’ up my heart.

And no matter what I do I feel the pain.

So, I bake.

And, I’ve been baking ever since I heard.

Friday I made Nestle Toll House Chocolate Cookies. I won’t bore you with the details – because I pretty much follow the directions on the package…

Semi-Sweet for a Bitter-Sweet Day

Except…

• I cut the recipe in half  – Let’s be honest: I wasn’t 48 cookie sad, I was more like 24 cookie sad.
• Half of the directed flour would have been 1 1/8 cups…but, I used just shy of 1 cup. That way the cookies are crispier and less cakey. You also really get the buttery flavor by cutting the flour down a bit.
• I gave the majority of the cookies away – Sometimes just the baking is therapeutic enough…And, let’s face it: Fat and sad is no way to go through life.

No Coincidence that the Chips are Tear Shaped

I know that my adoration of Justin isn’t really normal. And, down deep I have always accepted that becoming Mrs. Timberlake just wasn’t in the cards.

Still, that doesn’t make it any easier to say ‘bye bye bye’.