Little Lies, Illusions and A Succulent Pot Roast

Pot Roast Plated and Ready

A good friend’s mother told him once that if he didn’t have time to clean his apartment before people were coming over, he could just use lower wattage light bulbs. In the dimness, guests would miss the dirt and dust. Makes sense to me.

Spanx

Little lies, illusions and cover ups surround us every day. I used to work for a shapewear company and our motto was always ‘fake it til you make it’.

I mean do you really think all those celebrities are cellulite-free? No. No they are not.

And the regular people? We’re all frantically double-Spanxing just to keep up. (note: I can’t believe that ‘Spanxing’ just passed my spell check!)

It’s cold out and slow cooker season is officially on. With the slow cooker, comes so many illusions. As prep is generally pretty easy and results are more than always pretty good – it can trick your guests into believing that you are a fabulous cook. They will think that you slaved for hours over the meal. That you reinvented cooking. You may literally change the way they see less expensive giant meats.

Annie’s Choice

I don’t have a slow cooker anymore – too big for small living. And when confronted with a Sophie’s Choice between my Le Creuset large dutch oven and the All-Clad Slow Cooker, I had to let the slow cooker go.

No worries. The dutch oven works just as well if not better.

So, it’s really slow and low cooking season at my place. And, last night I teased my neighbors with the warm wafting aromas of beef and herbs – providing the illusion that I was an amazingly fabulous chef, hostess and meat miracle worker.

Slow and Low Cooking Pot Roast (Serves 6)

Ina Garten-style with a few tweaks (some on purpose, some by accident and some because I had amnesia at Whole Foods)

Honestly, this is all about the prep…

1. Go to Whole Foods or similar and buy a giant, inexpensive piece of meat – 4-5lb boneless beef chuck roast. Ask the butcher to tie it as this will help keep it together during the slow roast. My butcher did this string pattern with just one piece of string!

Giant Meat from Whole Foods – Perfectly Tied

2. Mise en place your veggies:

Veggie Mise En Place to Make Anne Burrell Proud

  • 3 cups of leeks – it’s supposed to be just two but I forgot to buy onions so I increased the leeks
  • 2 cups chopped carrots – about 5 carrots
  • 2 cups chopped celery – about 4 stalks
  • 2/3 of a single onion chopped – because that’s all I had in my fridge
  • NOTE: these are going to be pureed, so don’t kill yourself chopping. Just try for somewhat similar size across all veggies.

3. Smash up 4 garlic cloves – Ina uses 5, but I was hesitant to do so. Would have been fine in the end

4. Mise en place your Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper. I didn’t do this, and it would have been real smart if I had. Put a teaspoon measure by them

5. Bundle 3 branches of fresh rosemary with 4-5 branches of fresh thyme

Herb Bundle

Muir Glen Tomato Puree

6. Open a 28oz can of tomato puree. The Muir Glen was on sale yesterday at Whole Foods – Yay!

7. Pour 2 cups of good red wine into a measuring cup. Ina uses Burgandy, I had some really good Montepulciano – 2 cups for the roast, 1 glass for me

8. Pour out 1 cup of chicken stock and open up a Knorr’s chicken bouillon cube

‘Cooking’ Cognac

9. Pour out 2 tbsp of either Cognac or Brandy. I had a pretty good cognac on hand – but that’s a story for another time

OK. That was the hardest part.

Pre-Heat oven to 325 degrees

10. Generously salt and pepper the giant meat on all sides and then dredge in flour. Ina uses a lot of salt (1 tbsp) I might use a little less next time.

11. In a large dutch oven, heat 2 tbsp of olive oil over med / high heat and sear the meat on all sides. Once seared (about 4 mins on each side) remove the meat and put on a plate

Searing the Giant Meat

12. Turn the heat down to medium – Add 2 more tbsp of olive oil to the pot and stir in all of the vegetables and smashed garlic. Add in 1 tbsp of salt and 1 1/2 tsp of pepper.

Cook over medium heat until tender – about :10 mins

Simmering Veggies Pre-Booze

13. Add the wine and cognac and bring to a boil

14. Once boiling, add in the pureed tomatoes, the chicken stock and the bouillon cube. Ina then adds 2 tsp of salt and 1 tsp of pepper…I’d skip the salt here as mine turned out pretty salty.

15. Throw the Thyme/Rosemary bundle in there and then add in the Giant Meat and bring to a boil. Cover and put into the oven.

Sauce Smothered Meat Oven-Ready

16. Bake for 1 hour and then turn heat down to 250 degrees and cook for an additional :90 minutes

17. Remove from the oven and take the roast out and put onto a carving board

18. Carefully ladle some of the veggies and sauce into a blender or Cuisinart and puree. CAUTION: allow to cool a bit before blending or it will blow the lid off of the blender. Just sayin’. Puree in batches until you have enough sauce.

NOTE: I didn’t puree the entire pot of goodness – didn’t need that much.

Veggie Booze and Sauce Puree

Also – Ina puts the puree back on the stove and does some magical adding of flour and butter here, but, really, you don’t need it. The pureed veggies and booze make a lovely sauce all on their own.

19. Slice the roast and serve over egg noodles covered with the sauce and some chopped parsley

In an apartment, aromas seep into hallways from everyone’s home. Some better than others. Slow cooking takes the aroma flow to a new level as the scents of deliciousness flow out of my kitchen for hours.

Last night even the doormen 14 floors below had heard from my neighbors that ‘Annie was cooking something amazing smelling all day’. Ah, but ‘all day’ in this case is really the illusion. For with very little work, you can produce an amazingly succulently, moist pot roast.

But, don’t tell anyone.

If You’re Talking Thai, Talk Thai

Thai Salad

In navigating the unknown, one good approach is to stick to the theme. I’m not suggesting that you sport tennis togs and carry a bunch of racquets when attending the US Tennis Open – that’s so Forest Hills. But I am saying, that you might not want to hang a crystal chandelier in your kid’s playroom.

The unknown can be especially intimidating when the unknown is what’s for dinner. Stick to the theme. So, if you’re cooking lasagna, don’t make a pork steamed dumpling appetizer. When making roast chicken, don’t serve enchiladas on the side.

Last night’s dinner was based on my attempt to go Thai. I had already decided to make something curry-ish as a main course. My girls were coming over to solve the world’s problems with wine and stories and wine and wine and I thought it was time to try something new.

But, I hadn’t figured out what to do for a vegetable side. I just couldn’t decide. I went to my mental rolodex and looked for what sides I had enjoyed when dining out at Thai restaurants….not really any that memorable. Some steamed veggies with an oddly slimy sauce and pepper flakes is really all I could come up with. And, since I don’t really want to know what’s in the oddly slimy sauce nor do I really like hot pepper flakes, that wasn’t going to happen.

When I left for Whole Foods, I had a list that said just ‘vegetable’. While I can ‘wing it’ in almost any situation, I’m not one of those people who decides what to make based on what looks good in the produce section that day. So this ‘vegetable’ item on the list unnerved me a bit.

Clutching my list, I battled my way through the tourists at the Time Warner Center and elbowed myself on to the escalator into Whole Foods. City-perfect bi-level shopping cart procured and I went straight to produce. It’s fall and the produce section is teeming with squash and I’m like so over squash – for now. I looked around and lamely decided upon broccoli – easy and generally a crowd pleaser. A total cop out – but it would have to do. I needed to find a bunch of other stuff that I hadn’t ever bought before.

As an afterthought, I grabbed a small carton of sprouts figuring that I could put them on top of the curry dish I was preparing. Because sprouts feel super Thai to me.

I got everything home and still felt a little bad about the boring broccoli.

Inspiration!

Then while writing yesterday afternoon as The Food Network droned on in the background, I heard something that gave me an idea. Rachael Ray was making a sweet-ish (not Swedish) salad dressing. And, though I didn’t do what she did, I knew that Rachael was on to something.

And suddenly Broccoli schmoccoli….Became:

Thai Salad (serves 4)

The Salad:

  • 2 large carrots peeled and shredded – best bet to use your Cuisinart shredder blade
  • 3 large broccoli stalks only peeled and shredded (save the florets for a boring broccoli side at another time)
  • a handful of bean sprouts as is
  • Toasted cashew nuts crushed up a bit

Toasting the Nuts:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Spread 1/2 cup of cashews on a rimmed baking sheet lined with tin foil.
  • Spray the nuts with an olive oil cooking spray and gently salt.
  • Put into oven for :15 minutes, tossing the nuts every :05 minutes. Watch them closely as they will burn quickly…

Add Some Crunch

The dressing – And this is really what makes the salad so so good

Mise En Place – doesn’t the shallot look like a mouse?

  • 1/4 cup of freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp of dijon mustard
  • 1 1/2 tbsp orange marmalade
  • 1/2 shallot – grated
  • 1/2 tsp of Balsamic Vinegar

Whisk together until creamy looking then…

Whisked Together

  • Slowly whisk in 1/2 cup of olive oil
  • Salt and Pepper to taste

Mix the shredded veggies, nuts, sprouts and dressing together and serve as an intro to any Thai feast.

Uhmmm Delicious Thai Salad

To be honest, the salad turned out to be the hit of the meal. The sleeper success of the supper, if you will.

So, when confronted with the unknown, stick to your theme. I had never cooked Thai before – but I had a theme. And, you know what? I found out that:  Annie can cook Thai. Annie cooked Thai real well.

Because Smaller Things are Cuter: Petite Lasagna

Little things are cuter! Petite Lasagna

Small things are somehow cuter. Babies are cuter humans. Puppies are cuter dogs. Doll houses, cuter houses, cake pops, you get it….all cuter simply because they are smaller.

If that is true, than why are we so intimidated and fearful of cooking for fewer people. Or, God forbid, cooking for…gulp…one.

There’s a song about a breakup that I first heard in the ’80s when forced to listen to a quasi-muzak station at work and its lyrics have always stayed with me. Though originally written by Burt Bacharach, the kids today may know it because it was also featured on Glee in 2010.

Burt Bacharach Week on Glee

That aside, the lyrics are ridonk:

One less bell to answer / One less egg to fry / One less man to pick up after / I should be happy / But all I do is cry.

Seriously. Those are the lyrics. The singer lost her man and it is so so sad. And, the saddest part is – sigh, wipe tear – that now, every morning she only has to fry ONE egg. One – the loneliest number – the most feared amount of eggs to ever have to fry. Breaks me up every time I hear it.

But then, I think, first of all, what man eats only one egg for breakfast? And, secondly, who cares?!?!? You’ll find someone else to fry an egg for. Until then, enjoy the peace, quiet and fewer plates to clean.

I’m relatively certain that the saddest part of the single egg fryer’s life isn’t having a plethora of unfried eggs in the fridge. I’m actually completely sure of it.

Cooking for fewer people just isn’t sad. Embrace it. Last night I wanted lasagna. I had most of the ingredients already but I didn’t have six people coming to dinner.

Here’s what I did:

Petite Lasagna with Spinach and Chicken (serves 2 – even if 2 is you and your leftovers)

Preheat Oven to 450 degrees

1. Make the spinach mixture:

  • Cheesy Spinach Mixture pre-Chicken

    Heat a saute pan over med heat with 2 tbsp of butter + 2tbsp olive oil

  • Saute 2 cloves of garlic diced and 1/2 shallot diced until fragrant – about 2 mins
  • Add in one 10oz package of defrosted and squeezed dry chopped spinach – stir
  • Add in 2 tbsp of cream or milk – last night I only had 2% and it was fine
  • Add in 1/2 cup of Ricotta Cheese – stir to combine
  • Turn off heat and add 2 tbsp of grated parmesan cheese
  • Add salt and pepper to taste – remember that the parmesan cheese is salty
  • Stir in 2 breasts of cooked chicken meat diced or shredded – I used a rotisserie chicken – face it, you’ll never make chicken as good at home.
  • NOTE: I also didn’t stir the chicken in, because I thought there would be some left over and I didn’t want it all spinach-ified

2. Make a Bechamel Sauce

  • Bechamel Sauce Perfectly Coats Back of Spoon

    In a sauce pan over medium heat melt 2.5 tbsp of butter

     

  • Using a whisk, stir in 3 tbsp of flour – cook for about 2 mins
  • Whisk in a combination of 1 cup whole milk (again, I only had 2% and it was fine) + 1 cup of chicken stock
  • BTB (bring to a boil) RTS (reduce to a simmer) and continue to stir until the béchamel sauce is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.
  • Remove from heat and add 1/4 tsp of Salt and about the same of Pepper. You can add a pinch of nutmeg here as well

3.

Sweet Potatoes, because that’s what I had

Cut 1/2 of a peeled sweet potato into fry size pieces, lightly cover with olive oil, salt and pepper and roast for :20 mins – tossing a couple of times during the roasting.

I only had sweet potatoes but roasted squash or zucchini or egg plant or whatever you have and like would be just fine.

TURN OVEN DOWN TO 350 degrees

4. Shred 1/2 cup of mozzarella cheese. I didn’t feel like getting the cheese grater dirty, so I just cut the cheese…into small cubes

Get out a 9x5x3 loaf pan (see Banana Bread Recipe)

5. Use no-cook noodles. I had some fresh ones in the freezer that I defrosted in the fridge earlier in the day. Place 4 noodles (or enough to create 4 layers of noodles in a 9x5x3 loaf pan) in warm water just for 1 minute to soften

4. Layer the lasagna

Mise En Place for Lasagna

  • Put enough of the béchamel sauce to thinly cover the bottom of the pan
  • Put one layer of lasagna sheet(s) on top
  • Spread on a layer of the spinach, cheese and chicken mixture

Petite Lasagna Layer 1

  • Add a few of the roasted sweet potato fries – or whatever veggies you have and have roasted. There are no rules here. I like the sweet potatoes because they’re pretty.

Add the Sweet Potatoes – Pretty Colors!

  • Sprinkle on some of the mozzarella cheese and pour about 1/4 cup of the béchamel sauce over it
  • Layer on another layer of the lasagna sheet(s)

REPEAT – creating a complete second layer of spinach, chicken, sweet potatoes and cheese…and a little béchamel sauce

5. On top of the second layer, add the final layer of lasagna sheet(s), cover with about 1/3 cup of béchamel sauce, a sprinkle of mozzarella and some grated parmesan

Oven Ready Petite Lasagna

6. Cover with tin foil and bake for :35 minutes

7. Remove the tin foil and bake another :10 minutes

8. Remove from the oven – it will be bubbling – and let stand uncovered for :10 mins before serving

Lasagna out of the oven ready to cool…

If dinner is for you and someone else, great. If it’s just you dining with your leftovers….Go ahead and pour yourself a glass of wine. Sit in front of the TV. Eat and enjoy. See, was that so sad?

NO! No it was not. This lasagna is petite, smaller than most, and thus, cuter and better.

By the way, this morning for breakfast, I had one, absolutely deliciously fried egg.

One Happily Fried Egg

Endurance and a Great Butternut Squash

Back to Basics…Roasted Butternut Squash

Endurance. Sometimes the only difference between a win and a loss is one player’s or one team’s endurance. And Carolyn Pagnano, esteemed coach of our HS girl’s field hockey team, told me I had none. No endurance at all. She actually screamed those words ‘Annie! You have NO Endurance!’, at me as I ran laps with the other field hockey players. Carolyn Pagnano loved that drill – she would just yell ‘RUN’! And we all had to run. No defined distance or number of laps, no known end time…just ‘RUN’.  As I passed her on each lap I looked pathetically at Carolyn Pagnano hoping she would ‘call it’ and let us all stop running. She would just grin with evil and we ran on and on and on…

Penelope Pitstop Running

I wasn’t all giselle-like (animal, not Bunchen) – the girls who seemed to Penelope Pitstop their way through dozens of laps without breaking a sweat. Each stride for me was painful – horribly so. Admittedly, I’m dramatic…but it was torture. I hated running.

Still do.

My lack-o-endurance spans beyond just running. I’m the charter member of the Coalition for Picking Up at 15. I believe that 15 holes of golf is enough.

That said, I am not a professional golfer and pretty much knew I wasn’t going to be a professional athlete of any kind from an early age (see previous post ‘You Will Never Be Gymnast‘).

So when the world’s most elite athletes look like they’ve joined my coalition for picking up at 15, it shocks me.

In some sports like golf it’s called getting the Yips. Letting nerves get the best of you and failing to find success in even the easiest of shots. But what happened on Sunday at the Ryder Cup was way bigger than just a team-wide case of the Yips! It was the biggest choke of all time. Granted, those darling Europeans (read ‘Sergio Garcia’) staged one of the greatest comebacks of all time, but no way they could have managed it without the monumental failings of US team on the final three holes of the course.

Veterans like Phil Mickelson couldn’t even pull it out. That’s right, Philly, hold your head in shame.

Cry-Baby Mickelson

It was painful to watch. The complete unraveling of the entire team. The ultimate fail – inability to find just 4 wins out of 12 singles matches. No endurance on the final day of the tournament and now the precious Ryder Cup remains safely in the hands of the Europeans for two more years.

Watching it all unfold on Sunday, Carolyn Pagnono’s words rang in my head – ‘Annie! You have NO Endurance!’. And I realized, it’s not my strong suit. Even to this day there are things I hate to finish. Last week, I cut Squashweek short – promising more posts than I actually delivered. I just couldn’t bear the idea of one more squash dish.

But those golfers and their inability to finish what they started got to me. I had to prove Carolyn Pagnano wrong. I had one more squash in my kitchen and it had to be cooked – I owed it to my follower(s).

But I would have to dig deep. Deep into the annals of recipes to a time that was straightforward, simple and sugary….And last night I made…

Roasted Butternut Squash, ’70’s Style (side dish serves 4)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

1. Cut the top and bottom off of one butternut squash. Cut the bottom as evenly as possible as you need it to stand with little support for the prep.

2. Peel all of the thick skin off of the squash…I used a regular peeler, but if your peeler isn’t sharp enough, you may have to use a paring knife

Carefully Peeled Butternut Squash

3. Carefully! Slice the squash down the center…I used my Santoku knife…just make sure it’s a pretty big knife and sharp. Do no use a serrated or bread knife. I also wear a knife resistant glove…because I’m insane and have suffered some not so small cuts.

Perfectly Split Butternut Squash

4. Remove the seeds and all of the membrane-y stuff from both halves

Deseeded and Unmembraned

5. Carefully! Cut both sides into 1ish inch cubes and put into a bowl

Rejoice now that you have all of your fingers!

BREATHE – you have survived, hopefully, with all of your digits in tact. The hard work is over.

6. Toss the cubes of squash with…

Yummy goodness to toss with Squash

  • 3 tbsp of melted butter
  • 1/8 cup of brown sugar
  • 1 tsp of kosher salt
  • 1/2 tsp or less of freshly ground pepper

7. Spread the coated cubes in one layer on a large rimmed baking sheet lined with parchment paper…I do like the one that’s Reynolds Wrap on one side and Parchment Paper on the other..though it’s expensive

Buttery Sugary Cubes Ready for Roasting

8. Roast in the oven for :45 mins, flipping the cubes about every :15 mins to ensure even baking

9. Remove from the oven, transfer to a serving bowl and top with freshly chopped parsley

Sugary Sweet ’70s Butternut Squash

Serve!

Call it the Yips or just a lack of Endurance – I wish the US Golf Team could have pulled it out and returned the Ryder Cup to the US.

It’s a funny thing, endurance. And to this day, I am still at times driven by a desire to prove Carolyn Pagnano wrong.

I was over squash. Facing that last squash and finishing SquashWeek was hard. But, then I remembered one of the greatest fictional sports speeches of all time – In A League of Their Own when Dottie tells Jimmy she’s quitting because it just got too hard, he says: ‘It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.’

It was hard to complete SquashWeek – And this sweet and buttery butternut squash is what made finishing it great.